The Year in Review: 2012
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.
I was going to review the movie I watched tonight, but two things stopped me. First, I noticed that the last post I made was about New Year’s, and it seems to still be enjoying some popularity. Second, I nerdily keep a text file of all the movies I watch in the year. When I watch the movie, I add it to the file, and while I’m writing my review up, I sometimes do it “offline” in the text file before bringing it into this blog. I’ve saved quite a few quotes and notes and jokes and tidbits at the end of this file, and thought perhaps I should share them. So, here they are:
- (I have sexdaily!!!….I mean dyslexia….Fcuk…. )
- Your future’s so short, it wouldn’t stand knee-high to a midget
- “Jesus loves you.” A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- You won’t like me when I’m angry. Because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources. – The Credible Hulk.
- Why shouldn’t you step on a watch? Its a waste of time.
- What kind of teeth can you get for a dollar? Buck teeth.
- What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute? Tug of whore.
- Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.
- Hear about the corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
- Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk? It’s all over town!
- When you were born, dirt was new.
- I held the door for a little old lady in the shop today. We all laughed as she banged on the window shouting, “Let me in.”
- If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.
- I just realized that my garbage cans go out more often than I do.
- You didn’t fall out of the stupid tree, you were dragged out through dumbass forest.
- Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don’t make sense
- There once was an unfinished limerick.
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, beware of humanitarians.
- If you are ever attacked by clowns, remember to go for the juggler.
- You’ve got a Buddhist monk, and he’s refusing the anaesthetic for his root canal work. What’s he trying to do? Transcend dental medication.
- Someone get me some Potassium, Nickel and Iron….I need a KNiFe.
- A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
- There’s nothing like a good joke, and that was nothing like a good joke.
Witticisms and Other Thoughts
- Think that every night might be the night, because one night, it will be.
- Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re still here we may as well dance.
- If you don’t do this by yourself, you’ll never know if you’re any good. And you’ll never be good if you don’t know that you are.
- I’m so uncool, I melt ice.
- Youth is a blunder; adulthood a struggle; don’t let any age be a regret.
- The gift of talent is nothing without the talent to take that gift.
- You look at the stars and you see infinity. You look into a microscope and you see infinity, and right in the middle of those two extremities, perched on a balance beam, is us. Life.
- Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
- Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
- I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
- Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth. – Oscar Wilde.
- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. – Albert Einstein
- Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein
- A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be. – Albert Einstein
- If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. – Albert Einstein
- Imagination is more important than knowledge. – Albert Einstein
- They say I don’t have nothing but a prayer, well chump, all I need is a prayer, because if that prayer reaches the right man not only will George Foreman fall, but mountains will fall. – Muhammad Ali
- Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss
- You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr. Seuss
- If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good. – Dr. Seuss
- Why fit in when you were born to stand out? – Dr. Seuss
Doctors Einstein and Seuss, both very wise men. What will 2013 hold? Who knows. Q4 of 2012 didn’t go so well for me. I stopped. No more ties with cartoon characters, very little joie de vivre, and a distinct lack of magic in my life. The twinkle in my eye faded away, and the spark was all but extinguished, but I suppose that gives me something to work on this year. Ah well, enjoy this until next time:
Also, here is the original version.